I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
