She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
