Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
