Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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