did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize