I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
