Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
