this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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