I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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