God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
