"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize