That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
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Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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