I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
