it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
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it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
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He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy