Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.

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(206): View more from Washington

and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(925): View more from California

it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...

(320): View more from Minnesota

He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.

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(314): View more from Missouri

i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy

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