Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.

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(815): There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick. http://tfl.nu/npkp

Replies (43) Good night (8209) Bad night (956)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me

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(508): the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me http://tfl.nu/ptyo

Replies (75) Good night (26300) Bad night (1774)
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(480): View more from Arizona

dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties

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(480): dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties http://tfl.nu/qw8t

Replies (68) Good night (819) Bad night (4804)
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(713): View more from Texas

jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life

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(713): jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life http://tfl.nu/bfvb

Replies (27) Good night (4638) Bad night (1262)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay

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(781): So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay http://tfl.nu/35ja

Replies (11) Good night (4855) Bad night (1536)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.

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(215): i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system. http://tfl.nu/14j2

Replies (16) Good night (1318) Bad night (4177)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

At least he's a nutritious stoner...

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(402): Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches. (1-402): At least he's a nutritious stoner... http://tfl.nu/2qp4

Replies (18) Good night (8482) Bad night (1323)
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(520): View more from Arizona

hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.

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(520): hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint. http://tfl.nu/kgm7

Replies (11) Good night (3545) Bad night (997)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.

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(910): Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse. http://tfl.nu/i97p

Replies (19) Good night (1062) Bad night (2551)
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(802): View more from Vermont

He's yummy.

(613): View more from Ontario

HE'S GAY. AND 40.

(802): View more from Vermont

Irrelevant.

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(802): He's yummy. (613): HE'S GAY. AND 40. (802): Irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/3zsj

Replies (9) Good night (2261) Bad night (1066)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!

(503): View more from Oregon

Not okay.

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(503): Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car! (503): Not okay. http://tfl.nu/moe1

Replies (7) Good night (624) Bad night (2148)
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(817): View more from Texas

She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!

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(817): She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!! http://tfl.nu/esz2

Replies (4) Good night (1460) Bad night (514)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head

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(734): I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head http://tfl.nu/48x4

Replies (1) Good night (648) Bad night (373)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.

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(859): I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl. http://tfl.nu/2tvq

Replies (10) Good night (870) Bad night (430)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.

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(763): I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus. http://tfl.nu/3187

Replies (0) Good night (371) Bad night (466)

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