I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
