Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.

Fav 29 5895 1046
share tweet
(952): View more from Minnesota

I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga

Fav 29 13770 1442
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.

Fav 24 2149 8448
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.

Fav 11 8384 1946
share tweet
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(207): View more from Maine

Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy

Fav 40 5062 2399
share tweet
(561): View more from Florida

Bad news is he broke up with me via text message

(561): View more from Florida

But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville

Fav 28 7425 1768
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(623): View more from Arizona

just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.

(623): View more from Arizona

and by single i mean slutty

Fav 12 3835 1316
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.

Fav 2 467 221
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(907): View more from Alaska

I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.

(307): View more from Wyoming

Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.

Fav 0 44 29
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT