i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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