my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
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