Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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