You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
