i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
