it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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