Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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