Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
