So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
