what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
