my mouth tastes like poor choices
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
