What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
this hospital has no fireball
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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