Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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