Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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