i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize