dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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