Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
