she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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