Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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