i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
