Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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