Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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