Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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