The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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