eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
