she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize