Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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