Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
