Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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