I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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