break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
