I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think people are normalizing furries
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
