wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
