Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
