i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So squirting runs in the family.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
