before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
