I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
