I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
