I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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