Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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