I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
