It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
