How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
