Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
