At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
