I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
