dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
